Divorce: CMB Kids Assisting Children and Parents
Of the various childhood stressors in the world today, divorce is one of the most common. In fact, about half of first marriages end in divorce. Of these, about 66% involved children (U.S. Census Bureau). During the divorce process, as well as the time following the divorce process family members experience large amounts of confusion and stress. Since many parents are in their own state of confusion, anxiety, and depression during this time, their children often feel like they do not have anyone to turn to. Parents often do not know how exactly talk to children about divorce or how to cope with the family changes that are inevitable. Children commonly think that it is their fault their parents are getting divorced.
Financial and legal issues cause a major burden on most families going through divorce. Custody battles are common, as are legal battles over the establishment and maintenance of child support. Sometimes one of the parents engages in parental alienation and/or parental neglect. Contentious divorces lead to frequent trips to family court. Parents become so focused on their own battle that they forget the negative impact it is having on their children. Even worse, sometimes children are used as objects or pawns in their parents’ battle. In such situations, the focus gets further away from the best interest of the child. The further away the focus is from the child’s best interest, the more likely the child is going to be at risk for problems.
The difficulties do not end when the divorce is over. Post-divorce issues and parenting after divorce can be very challenging, particularly with children who are having significant adjustment issues. Single parents are faced with working to support their children, as well as the daily demands associated with raising their children. Parents who have joint custody of their children have to continually navigate custody issues and arrange co-parenting on medical, educational, and financial issues.
Single parent dating creates further stress for the family. Parents who are starting to date again need to be aware of who they are bringing into their children’s lives and they need to make sure their children are not getting neglected in the process. Sometimes, single-parent dating leads to children being inappropriately exposed to relationship problems and sexual issues before they are developmentally ready to deal with it. Re-marriage and step-parenting are also post-divorce situations that cause change and require further adjustment for the family. Parents will often feel guilty for having put their children through the divorce and the aftermath that they give into their child’s requests and let them get away with things that the children should not be getting away with.
The bad news is that children and pre-teens that do not get help for the emotional problems brought on by divorce are twice as likely to have problems as adults. Such problems can include mental illness, drug and alcohol abuse, and an inability to maintain their own healthy intimate relationships. The good news is that children do not have to go through this alone. Some schools offer programs, such as “Banana Splits” to help children of divorced families adjust to the changes and process their feelings. After school programs, such as Camp MakeBelieve Kids, are also very beneficial when it comes to helping kids talk about their feelings and learn new ways to cope with the changes divorce brings about. How CMB Kids Can Help Children of DivorceCamp MakeBelieve Kids’ has a curriculum to help kids of divorce, in addition to other adjustment issues. In Camp MakeBelieve, children are able to describe their feelings. They also learn strategies to deal with difficult situations and moods such as anxiety and depression. Camp MakeBelieve also helps parents and kids become aware of common methods of manipulation kids might engage in to try to get their way. Overall, the Camp MakeBelieve program provides parents and kids with the tools to navigate through stressful situations such as divorce.
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