THE ASPERGERS SYNDROME CHILD: THE DIFFERENT DRUMMER

"You’re a geek!"
"Look ... the weirdo’s coming."
"Yechh, do we have to play with her? She’s so ... annoying!"

There you have it. In the cruel words of children, lies the literal “translation” or “look” of a disorder even professionals have had difficulty accurately diagnosing and labeling.

A Definition of Aspergers: A Mystery

It is estimated that one child in 300 may have the neurobiological disorder, which was first described by Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, 60 years ago, and has only recently been recognized by professionals and parents.

Asperger's Syndrome (or Disorder) is a pattern of behavior in which the child has average, even extraordinary intelligence, but is significantly lacking in what we now call "social intelligence."

This seemingly paradoxical combination of a well-functioning intellect in the presence of a poor "social intellect," has, in the past, made diagnosis confusing. To make matters worse, children with Aspergers Syndrome are more different from one another, than they are alike, with differing areas of difficulty, as well. The result was and at times, remains, misdiagnoses, based on elements of behavior that could fit into any number of other Disorders such as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Not otherwise specified), ADD, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Semantic Pragmatic Language Disorder (SILD) OCD, and more. While some professionals consider Asperger’s to be High Functioning Autism, others have considered it a Nonverbal Learning Disability. Still others have applied an educational label, such as Social Emotional Maladjustment (SEM).

"Does My Child Have Asperger’s?"

What we do know about the Syndrome is, these kids appear to "march to a different drummer" and are often victims of teasing, even bullying from peers, and negative misjudgments from annoyed adults who see this as a “disciplinary” issue. As we’ve said above, each child keeps his own “beat,” therefore, the Asperger’s diagnosis should never be based upon hurried assumptions by parents or professionals. The finding must involve expert consultation, testing, observation, and a process of elimination, along with exploration into accompanying problems (e.g: learning or other psychiatric disorders), if any.

But ... the process starts with you, the parent, and your observations, along with those of the school, and yes, the reaction the child gets from peers. Once again, we caution that only an expert can diagnosis. The following are meant to be general guidelines. Should your child exhibit the following to the degree that they send up a gut red flag reaction, consult a mental health expert.

"But I just want to be your friend!" is a common cry. Yet she doesn’t seem to know how to go about it effectively. Social cues don’t translate, so in a flurry, she may barge into games, interrupt, talk incessantly without listening, have one-sided conversations, hover, get upset over rules, such as sharing or taking turns.

The world looks, sounds and feels different. Light and sound may bombard his senses — even those other people may not even perceive. Similarly, things may “feel” or taste funny.

She’s Stuck. Whether preoccupied and/or obsessive, she resists tearing herself away from a passion, and/or changing the drill — even for a better one! We had a 13-year-old child in one group, for example, who was obsessed with dinosaurs. Another knew every statistic about the Titanic, and still another all about the White Sox. While their knowledge is gargantuan and often impressive to adults, their pre-occupations and problems changing activities don’t “make” it in the peer group, where they’re perceived as “acting superior,” weird or geeks.

The Little Professor. Even with often an advanced vocabulary, he’s clueless how to use it to engage others socially. Words may be rigid, “perfect,” but not responsive or inviting. In fact, he may come across as having a bad “attitude.” He often takes language literally, missing the nuances, including humor, and may return a joke with sarcasm -- only to get a sock in the mouth!

The wardens. She is the “keeper of the rules.” While most children understand the range of give and take regarding rules, she is often unbending and imposes inflexibility on her peers.

Show and Tell. The classic “Pick me!” hand-waving seems to pass her by. “John,” in one of our groups, had just returned from an amazing exotic trip, but we had to pull the exciting details, as he lacks the spontaneous ability to share his excitement and accomplishments. Or----he is so full of details, he bombards his audience with minutia, not realizing the audience has fled the room.

MEMEME. He often has a problem getting the concept of “You give --I give back.” He lacks the notion of social and emotional reciprocity.

The Moves. She hasn’t got them (or has too many). Whether she appears clumsy, has odd mannerisms (hand twisting, finger flapping), or typically, her eyes dart or lower, rather than meet the gaze of another, she sends the message — “avoid.” We believe lack of eye contact may be due to the hyper-stimulation of the immediate surrounding, social anxiety, or hyper-focus on something that has caught her interest or attention.

“Some of these sound like my Billy ...”

If this “feels” like your child, or he shows elements of the behavior(s) above, we recommend you find a competent mental health practitioner, skilled in neurobiological disorders, to assess your child, work with you on management, and “next steps” — at home, in school, and therapeutically.

Professional Assessment for Asperger’s Syndrome ...

As these very special children each present very different challenges, an individual profile is essential to evaluate his deficits and strengths. The expert will look at behavior, family and individual psychiatric history, communication patterns, social interaction, body language, daily functioning, adaptive ability, range of emotions, ability to relate to and “read” emotions, and neuropsychological functioning. The key is to individualize and detail the child’s development and needs. Once the professional rules out other possibilities — including a normal, shy child — the assessment can be made. A critical aspect of treatment will naturally include choosing the right school setting along with a team approach that includes you, the school, mental health practitioners and any other professionals working with your child.

Asperger’s’s Disorder: FAQs & Myth-Busting!

Q: Most teachers, counselors, and practitioners are familiar with Asperger’s kids.

A: Unfortunately, the answer is no. Many are unfamiliar with the Syndrome and have difficulty managing Asperger’s children. Some teachers are often confused when “smart” kids cannot seem to perform to their intellectual capacity. Frequently, we find a full day of school sends them into stress or overdrive — and homework suffers.

Q. Asperger’s Syndrome kids are loners who prefer it that way.

A. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many deeply desire friendships, but simply fail to know how to engage other children. From saying hello, to getting along, they have difficulty interpreting social cues and responding appropriately. Often, if they have friends, they may be older, protective buddies (the future social workers), younger children -- or a nurturing adult.

Q. If these kids are “autistic” are they retarded?

A. Not only are they “normal” intellectually, many are highly intelligent, even gifted in specific areas. Their special interests may make them especially intriguing and stimulating to adults who are impressed with their focus and command of the literal language and degree of knowledge.

Q. “I’ve heard that many of these kids become depressed or develop other problems later in life. Is that true?”

A. Sadly, when not well-managed, the stigma and social isolation can have a serious effect on children who have been bullied and teased, which is why early treatment is imperative to give these children every advantage.

Q. “My aunt calls my son ‘rude’ and blames me as the parent. Is she right?”

A. Absolutely not! This is a neurobiological disorder and has nothing to do with “bad parenting.” There are, however, things a parent can do, to help the situation.

"My child was diagnosed with Asperger’s Disorder. What kinds of skills and strategies are most helpful?"

The good news is, Asperger’s kids can develop emotional and social intelligence, as we would learn to cook or play the guitar. At Camp MakeBelieve we concentrate on teaching ALL children social, practical and ethical skills they need to get along with each other, within their families and their communities.

Our materials in the Parenting Program and Professional Program focus on building management strategies that encourage recognition and respect for feelings, along with behavior that leads to positive results. Children, however, are allowed to move at their own pace and in their own way.

Here are some of the strategies we use and recommend for the Asperger’s Syndrome child.

• Create specific individual, realistic long and short-term goals based upon her strengths and needs.
  
  
• Impose structure in new and/or social situations or those requiring him to make a change in activity or behavior.
  
  
• Set specific limits on disruptive and inappropriate behavior.
  
  
• Keep things as calm as possible. Structure and simplicity goes a long way toward preventing over-stimulation. Similarly, avoid overly stimulating/confusing surroundings whenever possible.
  
  
• Rehearse! When a threatening (e.g.: new) situation looms, or one that may be uncomfortable, you may help the child rehearse the “drill” in preparation.
• Choose schools and groups that make use of the small group setting to provide individual attention and keep things manageable.
  
  
• Make attention to social skills and communication a priority in all interactions.
  
  
• Focus on cause and effect in feelings, behavior and consequences.
  
  
• Build-in opportunities for her to show her special talents and abilities to increase self-confidence and self-esteem.
  
  
• Challenge areas of weakness — and reward improvement.
  
  
• Provide problem-solving tools, tips and strategies.
  
  
• Discuss non-verbal cues and what they mean over time and on the spot.
  
  
• Encourage personal evaluation and insight.
  
  
• Attend to the “big things” such as effective social communication.
  
  
• Attend to the “little things” the child may not notice, such as the social approach by using the person’s name, shaking hands, looking directly at him.
  
  
• Offer frequent and realistic feedback by helping the child to challenge his perceptions and feelings, and learn to identify those of others.
  
  
• Offer body language feedback.
  
  
• Offer opportunities for realistic, supportive feedback from others, to help the child become aware of how he’s “landing.”
  
  
• Repetition, repetition, repetition. The Asperger’s child often learns by rote and sequence. Constancy in rules, communication, discipline, should be a priority.
  
  
• Show the child how one strategy can be used in a variety of situations.

The “Special” in Your Special Needs Child

We now know that some of our most eccentric, brilliant, “clumsy,” socially backward, forgetful — yet extraordinary people — may have been Asperger’s Syndrome children. That is not to say that all will be absent-minded rocket scientists, but we believe that every child has a special destiny, and it’s our job as parents, counselors and educators, to teach each how to work through difficulty and access his unique gifts with confidence and character!

Your Special Needs

Caring for any child is exhausting, but caring for a special needs child can take a huge toll on the entire family. If you have an Asperger’s child, we strongly recommend you find a support group where you can share and vent your own feelings.

ASPERGER’S SYNDROME AND CAMP MAKEBELIEVE: HOW OUR STRATEGIES CAN WORK FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD

The techniques and tools in our interlocking system, are designed to give parents, teachers, and counselors the fundamental strategies they need to help the children they care about mature into successful adults, capable of loving, working, and contributing positively to their families and communities.

Our daunting goal starts with a simply stated, but difficult task: helping each child understand, interpret, and effectively manage his relationship to others, and the world around him. Camp MakeBelieve programs were specially created to help all children make these essential connections.

The Asperger’s child comes to the “table” – the park, the pre-school, and the playing field – with a special challenge. If you’ve read this far you know these children often lack the capacity to “read” social signals and send appropriate ones.

The result is, a child who is out-of-sync, and, sadly, when left unchecked, is much like Wednesday’s child, suffering from poor self-esteem and low self-confidence that can carry into adulthood and hamper successful integration into loving and working relationships.

In our after-school programs, we’ve worked with a large number of these children, in a mixed group setting, and have found our strategies particularly useful for the Asperger’s Syndrome child in three primary ways:

• Camp MakeBelieve workbooks go right to the heart of improving social skills and emotional intelligence, including increasing awareness of feelings, behavior, consequences – and empathy.
  
  
• Our workbooks, Guided Imagery and other audio-tools not only stimulate the imagination, but:
  – offer effective anger management strategies.
  – are themselves, calm-down devices, when things start to spiral out of control.
  
  
• CMB activities can be done over and over, and grow with the child! Each activity is flexible, to reach each child at his own level, and designed for long-term use.
  
  This is of special benefit to the Asperger’s child who learns best through meaningful repetition.

Asperger’s Syndrome and Key Areas Targeted

The following, links specific behaviors, typical of Asperger’s Disorder, with those elements of the CMB program and tools we have found effective in helping these children manage their behavior, master control, and develop appropriate and rewarding skills.

Behavior
Social cues don’t translate. The Asperger’s child may burst on the scene, talk over others, interrupt, fail to listen to peers and/or respond appropriately.

Camp MakeBelieve Workbook Activities: target awareness of the self and others through visual and verbal cues. An on-going theme is the development of empathy – increasing the child’s ability to challenge his perceptions and feelings, and learn to identify those of others.

Behavior
The world of the Asperger’s child may feel, look, taste and sound different, which can bombard the senses. Additionally, many of these children are unaware of the body signals they’re sending, which may include a lack of eye contact and odd or repetitive movements.

Camp MakeBelieve Workbook Activities: Heighten awareness of sensory cues and bodily cues, helping the child to recognize the “internal” signs that lead to behavior – in advance.

Behavior
The Asperger’s child may get upset over rules, such as sharing or taking turns. Some act as “the warden” or keeper of the rules, and find it hard to grasp the give and take of peer relationships.

Camp MakeBelieve Workbook Activities: Target “fairness” strategies. Step-by-step, they teach cause and effect in feelings, behavior and consequences, along with how following rules and social/emotional reciprocity leads to positive rewards.

Behavior
The Asperger’s child may have an advanced vocabulary, but may have difficulty engaging others socially. Communication may be too literal, rigid. The child just doesn’t seem to fit in, or “get it.”

Camp MakeBelieve Workbook Activities: Target wordplay and communication in connection with feelings to help the child understand nuance and subtle differences in meaning and intention.

Behavior
The Asperger’s child often has difficulty with transitions. The child stays locked in an activity and resists changing the drill.

Camp MakeBelieve Workbook Activities and Strategies: Target prevention through preparation. Planning, in advance, to give the child transition time, can avert or help defuse a crisis before it starts.

Behavior
The Asperger’s Syndrome child may be extremely bright, but often has trouble thinking “outside the box.” Interests and thoughts may be fixed, locked, and unemotional.

Camp MakeBelieve Workbook Activities, and especially our Guided Imagery and other audio-tools, inspire imaginative thinking in fun and entertaining ways. Our activities encourage the child to think through how strategies can be used in a variety of situations creatively.

Behavior
The world of the Asperger’s child is filled with emotional hazards. As they march to a different drummer, their “fit” is often uneasy – which leads to problems with anger, already a hot-button issue with many of these children – which leads to more problems with peers and adults – which ultimately contributes to poor self-esteem.

Camp MakeBelieve Workbook Activities, Guided Imagery and other audio-tools, not only teach and reinforce mood management and calm-down strategies, but – build-in self-esteem, directly and indirectly.

Overall the Camp MakeBelieve Parenting Program and Professional Program are designed to:

• help manage moods, and anger
• prevent and cool down out-of-control behavior
• build self-esteem and self-confidence
  

As the Asperger’s child takes each new step in the series and moves closer to becoming a master of his moods and behavior, he can rejoice in the progress and rewards he’ll reap with peers, family, the school and the community.

The most special reward will be self-esteem and self-confidence he will achieve – a foundation he can build on, for a lifetime!

About our Parenting Program and Professional Program

The workbooks, CDs, audio-books, songs, stories, create an interlocking system, designed to work together to give parents, group leaders, and kids the tools, strategies, and products they need to become Masters of their feelings.

Unlike most, if not all other children’s series, this blends theory with hands-on, practical tips that parents, educators and counselors can use on-the-spot. This blending allows children to use the material at their own level of sophistication, and get the strategies they need, when they need them.

1. Blends theory with hands on, practical tips for both adults and children. Full of stories, activities and helpful information.
2. An innovative tool that uses story and meditation music, created specifically for children to excite imagination and behavior.
3. Combines the workbook and guided imagery CDs.
4. An excellent learning tool, the CD helps a story come alive while reinforcing reading skills, Audiobooks, Music and Sing-a-Long.

"The stories [Master of Self Control Workbook] about children's behaviors and problems are concrete and easy to identify with. The workbook activities and discussion points are excellent. This is just what is needed to help children learn to be successful!" -Adrienne Cox, Assistant Director, Dept. Family & Youth Services

"A great collection of common childhood behavior problems that both kids and parents can relate to. I commend Ms. Goldberg on her ability to relate to a variety of kids on their level." -Dr. Debra Barney, Child Psychiatrist

Click on the following links to read about how Camp MakeBelieve gives you tools and techniques to help the Asperger's child.

Go to the Parenting Program